A shower probably.
It's Friday here in Utah. But not just any Friday, it is Pioneer Day! Woo hoo! A state holiday, Pioneer Day is a celebration of the official settling of Utah by Mormon pioneers. I don't normally work on Fridays, so it's just another day off for me. But for those lovable Utahns, it is an opportunity to go out and use those ATVs to destroy Sage Grouse habitat, gather together and go to "This is the Place" (the red is a link to learn more . . . Old People), or maybe do something normal like watch a movie. At this point, I'm a little over the whole Mormon thing, since it likes to aim for me almost every single day. On the Utah public radio, from my coworker, from the liquor laws. And now on a regular ol' Friday, meaning I can't go to the library because it is closed. I don't mind the Mormons. I admire their togetherness and discipline. But I need a little break from this wholesome family fun.
Mysterious things happened all week. Actually, all on the same day now that I think about it. So let me make this more entertaining (as if it isn't already, as I know you are thinking). First, let me set the scene. . .
It is a hot Tuesday in the desert. Waking up at 11:30 a.m., I am struck by how cool my tent is. As I lay in my tent pondering how I could have been so lucky to choose the perfect Juniper tree to lay under, I hear a scratching right next to my tent. My mind immediately proceeds to eliminate possible culprits. The wind? No, wind doesn't scratch my tent. A deer? Why would a deer be all the way out in the desert, though of course possible. Db playing with my mind? No, that may be giving her too much credit (Kidding Db). Then, the scratching sounds more like chewing. This makes it easier for me to hypothesize further. A mouse or squirrel. Surely these things might chew on my tent. Then, I see something move underneath the bottom of my tent towards me. A mouse could fit, but also, a rattlesnake. So I carefully leave my tent, do my morning routine, and then proceed to the part I hate the most, taking down the tent (very annoying). As I walk around the perimeter, pulling up the stakes, I am very careful to keep my feet well away from the edge, lest a sharp-fanged friend attempt to kiss them (I know, you're thinking how well this is drawing out). I take the poles out. Then in a quick stealthy movement, I remove the tent from the spot, hoping to reveal my stalker. You'll never guess. Two fat stinkbugs! Hey, it was exciting at the moment.
Db and I manage to pack the truck in a very lethargic way. After all, we had just woken up in the desert in the middle of the day, when everything is at it's hottest and us at our groggiest. We drive around, go to Nevada for a quick fill-up, and proceed to the Callao cabin. Callao is a small town in the middle of the previous map. It's population is so small, that when you enter the village there is an old wooden sign mapping out where everybody lives, all twelve of them. Db tries to take a nap in our two room cabin, sans air-conditioning, while I repair the waders I ruined. I am still ruing the day I will have to try out my repair-efforts. I try to read in the cabin, trying desperately to keep all my limbs from touching, using my warm (but still cooler than myself) water bottle to cool my body. Apparently the moving around of the water bottle caused Db to have a dream about skeeball.
Finally, our torture is over. Time to work. We are heading to our netting site, zoning out, no longer talking. Like an old married couple, we are content with our silence, for we are running out of conversation. Plus the heat makes us irritable, mostly myself. Suddenly, ahead, a strange reddish-brown animal runs across the road and into the sagebrush. A fox you ask? No way. This animal was short, stout, with a long fluffy tail, and a white face. We put on the brakes and dig around for the binoculars. Occasionally we see something bob up and down among the brush. I get the first look. It's face is white and black striped. I had never seen a badger before, but I made the suggestion. Db keeps saying how badgers aren't red. The creature disappears. We keep driving and the creature reappears. Db gets a look at it. It is in fact a grey badger! Now the true question is, what was the red thing we saw? I am of the conclusion that it is either a feral cat, or we didn't get as good a look at it as we thought, and it was actually the badger in a different light. Db continues to think there is some mysterious animal that I don't know of. So she asks K.H. later. K.H. claims there is no unknown red animal in the sagebrush. So I saw a badger! Yay. Check that one off the list.
Later that night, it is a new moon (meaning no moon). We are netting. I am trying to explain how great a book The World According to Garp is, but it is hard to explain how awesome a book is to a Mormon when it has some twisted sexual themes. In fact, from experience, don't bother. I felt like a sick pervert reading sinful books. Keep it to the family fun. Children's books are generally a safe bet. Harry Potter in particular. Not to demean Db of course, we do have some interesting and controversial conversations. But she is never going to read that book. Anyways, while I am in the middle of explaining how Garp was conceived (his mother, a military nurse taking advantage of a degenerative war patient), I see these bright orangish/yellow lights lining up in the distance. Remember, we are in the middle of nowhere. I stop mid-sentence and tell Db to turn around. She starts freaking out. It looks like a UFO. Six or seven lights show up in a perfect row, except the older ones disappear as the newest ones appear. I imagine this is similar to signal flares, and we are only 30 minutes or so from Dugway Proving Ground, a major military base. So I write off the lights as flares, but Db freaks out a little bit. In the desert, Db is sometimes afraid of things like aliens. K.H. seems worried about breaking down. I am afraid of scary men/people. K.H. seems the most reasonable. Maybe we did not see a UFO, but if we were, the desert in Utah is a very likely place.
That night, we caught one bat. A pallid. They are quite beautiful. In fact, they are white (not brown or black), with awesome long pink ears. They are calm, and in all, quite exceptional. I was very excited. I could continue to rave, but I understand this is already a long entry. I spent an hour today in the children's section of Barnes and Noble, and it put me in a good mood.
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