The Ring

Because I keep getting questions about that too.

Think of your typical engagement ring . . . and then imagine the complete opposite.

I asked Gas Monkey a long time ago, that if he decided to propose, I would want him to design the ring. I would want it to remind me of him, and represent us.

Gas Monkey spent two months working on my ring with a designer. Numerous emails and phone conversations, going to the designer many times, bringing six packs to try and bribe the guy to keep trying. Gas Monkey was never satisfied. They did 3 different printings, and 3 different waxings. Poor designer.

It is a ring that has to grow on you. I like it more and more everyday. Not saying I did not like it at first, I did, it was just so different than anything I had ever imagined.

It is impossible to describe and do it justice. What I can say, it reminds me of Gas Monkey to a T: modern from the top, almost Gothic from the side, it is symbolic, detailed, and unorthodox. He put in a lot of symbolism. For example, the main aspects represent our love for each other, our dedication to the environment, nature, and sustainability, and his acceptance of my career and future goals. What more can you ask?

And there are no diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds etc. The two stones he used are Red Spinel and Tsavorite. They are both very pretty.

I may post pictures of it in the future, but for now I want to wait.

An Engaging Engagement

So here is the story, with all the nitty gritty details, since I know people like my mom want to know everything.

Thursday was my last day in Utah. I worked with K.H., received a glowing review from her, and then went home after a day of cleaning the work truck and doing data entry. I started packing, everything except for my clothes and bedsheets. My intention was to leave Friday morning, and get up around 10 a.m. No big deal. Just a little annoyed at the packing process. I called Gas Monkey, and he spent the whole night furiously cleaning the house. When I talked to him, he was extremely frustrated because the refrigerator blew a circuit board (or something else complicated and expensive), so all of the food was rotten. He sounded equally peeved, as he had supposedly bought food for a nice dinner this weekend. Either way, he spent the night cleaning, while I slept.

The next morning, I was very tired. At 9 a.m. I get a phone call from Gas Monkey. I, not intending to wake up before 10, pressed silence on my phone. Then, to my slight annoyance, he called again.

"Crap," I thought to myself. "If I don't answer, he will continue to call, and I will not get that extra precious hour of sleep." So this time I answer. I assumed, like most normal people, that he was calling to see if I had left yet.

"Hello?" I said, in my sexy morning gruff voice.
"Are you going to let me in?" he says from the other line.
"What? You're joking me."
"I'm outside in the back, are you going to let me in," he repeats.

I hung up on him, slowly go up the stairs, walk outside, and he is standing at the gate. Suitcase in hand, with a taxi behind him. My shock was counteracted by my lethargy.

"What the hell are you doing here? Are you crazy? You flew all the way out here to drive home with me. How sweet."

You could tell he was quite proud of himself. And I felt a strong urge of gratitude, and surprise. When he is romantic, the boy is romantic. So I had him follow me back to my room. To his horror and entertainment, he saw I had not loaded my car, and still had clothes sprawled everywhere. He commanded me to take a shower, which I was not intending on doing, and he began to carry all my crap (and that is what it mostly is) up the stairs and around the house to my car. By the time I was done with my somewhat intentionally lengthy shower, all my stuff was in the car.

I took him to breakfast at a really good local pancake house. Then, before we began to make the trek, he said, "We should go through Colorado. I'm really sick of Wyoming. It's boring." (Sorry you few Wyomingites, but it is true.) I tried to reason with him; driving through Colorado takes an extra two hours. But he was adamant. At that time it dawned on me. He brought a suitcase to drive home? I doubt it.

So we drive and drive and drive. After about five hours we ended up in Grand Junction. I began getting "truck fever" again. We stopped briefly, then back in the car. After maybe half an hour, he pulls off in Palisade. Palisade is wine and peach country.

"I have to get peaches for my aunt," he says. Meanwhile he is passing all the peach stands, while trying to nonchalantly use his phone for directions.

Finally we arrived at a small bed & breakfast. It was really cute. But when we got there the owners were not answering the door. As I had been deprived of good ol' Colorado beer, we decided to go to the local tavern. As soon as we walked in, one of the locals said "I hope you kids have I.D.s" We were the only people in there younger than 50. And the only thing they had on tap was coors and bud, and no bottled beer of anything else. Welcome back to Colorado? So we went to a local grill and had dinner. Finally we went back to the B&B.

Upon arrival, the lady that owns the place was super excited. I know this because she said, "It's so exciting!!!!" Immediately after she said this, Gas Monkey sorta hugged me, and apparently gave her the urgent don't-say-anything look. She showed us our room. It had a huge bed covered in black lace, a bottle of local wine, and bouquet Gas Monkey had ordered. Attached to the room was a "tower", with a full-sized hot tub was on the main floor, and an observatory on the second. We unloaded some of my stuff, then walked around their back yard. We sat in the gazebo for awhile just talking.

Then Gas Monkey wanted to go inside, so while he went up to the observatory, I picked a peach. I went up to him and we sat and talked some more, all about random things, like the time Spanky Bottoms and I each bought a harlequin from the thrift store. After that story, he tried to get me to tell a story about love. Uncooperative, I told him he knows all of my stories, since he is in all of them. So he started talking about how much I mean to him, how he wants to be with me forever, etc. He stood up and then got down on one knee. I have never seen my confident man this nervous. Stumbling over his words, shaking slightly, he even wiped away a tear. He tried to show me the ring, but I told him I did not want to see it until after I gave him my answer. Which was yes obviously. And that is the story. He literally flew in and swept me off my feet. Apparently the man was determined to get what he wanted.

And that is a very long narrative of a very important day in our lives. We are very happy.

10 Ways to Know You Work for a State Wildlife Management Agency

Ozzy the Otter on the bookshelf next to my desk.

10. You have to pay to use the water cooler.

9. Orange is everywhere.

8. Half of the people working there carry guns and have gun safes next to their desks.

7. The common mentality: It is important to teach children how to shoot. Not what they are shooting or why they are shooting it.

6. They will pay to have you learn how to shoot a bow and arrow (meanwhile looking upon you with pity).

5. The common sentiment about salads: "That's not food. That's what food eats."

4. It is commonplace to leave your fresh, newly severed elk head in the public parking lot during hunting season.

3. You work for free and they still complain about your project.

2. You have dead things in your office and you did NOT put them there.

1. You work for The Man - in particular a white, conservative, skinny old man.

The view from across my desk.

Big Green Tractor Song vs. Man without Determination song

Here's the two songs of last night. They are both pretty sorry:

Black Footed Ferret Surveys - 2 Nights

These past Monday and Tuesday nights, Db and I helped out the Northeastern region do their Black-footed Ferret surveys in Vernal, not too far from the Colorado border. In case you've never seen a black footed ferret. . .

To learn more about this endangered North American carnivore (not rodent!), here is a link to the Black-footed Ferret Recovery Program:

http://www.blackfootedferret.org/

The survey involves Db and I driving the same small area of the boonies from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m., looking for bright green eyeshine. If we were to find the eyeshine, we would run out to the hole, grab a trap, and set it hoping to catch the ferrets. However, that part is all theoretical.

This is how it actually panned out. I promise, it is a sorry scene.

It is 1 a.m. Both our windows are rolled down. Giant spotlights are attached to the roof of our truck, each with a handle that extends down into our windows so we can maneuver them. It is somewhat cold, and we are driving, so I am wearing a clean sock on my hand to keep it from freezing.

Db is lying next to me, asleep. There are twinkie, kitkat, and Baby Ruth wrappers sprawled everywhere, not to mention a few empty cans of Mountain Dew and Cream Soda. The crew happily provided us with they nutritious snacks. Needless to say, my stomach is a little edgy.

As I drive along, I am listening to one of two things on the radio: country music or UFO talk radio. The "scientist" is describing, in a boring monotone, how aliens and ghosts are the same thing, beings from an alternate dimension. I listen waiting for the crazy callers. Got to love those drunk crazy callers.

When I am listening to country music, I keep waiting for my new "favorite" country song. The lyrics go "I can take you for a ride on my big green tractor. We can go slow, or we can go faster. . . " Perfect. Instead they keep replaying this horrible song were the singer gave up "smoking, women, and drinking. And it was the worst 15 minutes of his life."

Occasionally on the hand-radio (after all, we have a whole team sprawled out on the horizon), we hear one of those guys shouting about how he found a coyote and it is his turn to shoot it. Awesome. DWR is, after all, a hunting agency created for and by hunters. So half the dudes are really looking around for coyotes to shoot. I guess it needs to be done. They need blood samples, but really, I shirked my duty by leaving one coyote to his evening.

At dawn Db and I get to go to a trailer and sleep, today for only 5 hours. Truck fever and a headache and no sleep. I am not a happy camper. Only one more day.

White-nose Syndrom + NPR

I believe a few of you have been hearing about bats on the East coast and "White-nose Syndrome". This is a very disheartening disease, and it is spreading fast. Researchers are doing what they can to understand it, but they are entirely underfunded. Since it is a fungus, the hope is that it won't reach the Colorado/Utah area since it is too dry here for fungus to grow. We can only hope.

Here is the NPR article and you can also find a link to the radio segment on the page.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89852947

No Bat of the Week Week

Sorry folks. I know you've been on the edge of your seats this week. Unfortunately, my computer has given up on me, and I on it. Therefore I'll have to go home before I can reinstate this thrilling segment of my blog. I need my pictures to do it. But I promise it will happen.

Tonight I am off to do Black Footed Ferret surveys. I am not exactly sure what this entails, but I am aware it involves staying up from dusk until dawn, looking for ferret "eyeshine" with a spotlight. I am unsure if it involves any trapping. What I do know is that this seems to be the survey everybody avoids. I think the reason is mostly because of the hours. I am sincerely hoping something exciting will magically happen.

My last weekend in Salt Lake City - I stayed mostly in my room and watched movies or read. Way to make it worth my while, I know. I did not go and reminisce or get all emotional. Mostly I was slightly annoyed at having to drudge through another weekend.

Happily, I get to come home on Friday!!!!!!!!! Then I'll spend a wonderful two weeks being very content, until gradually the perpetual unemployment and boredom slowly ingrain on my brain until I become extremely depressed. But for now I shall be optimistic. I will take this opportunity to hone my "domestic" skills. Cleaning, cooking, crocheting, knitting, scrapbooking, pleasing my man. Got to keep practicing to become the perfect trophy wife. Right?

Truck Fever

Firstly, my computer is no longer functioning properly. It is apparently in perpetual hibernation. The lights are on, but the screen will not turn on. I've held the power button down until it reboots, I've taken the battery out for hours, I've turned off all power; it has been 24 hours and no change. Help please. This is going to be a long weekend without it.

Last Monday and Tuesday I drove the equivalent of 24 hours, by myself, out in the desert. Currently I am reading The Shining, so I've decided that instead of having "cabin fever", I developed a sort of truck fever. It was nice at first, but towards the end I was losing it. It is nice that I have multiple personalities to have conversations with. Here are some of the thoughts that ran through my head while I was entertaining myself those two days.

• "Wow! It's fun to be alone again!"
• "I like our conversations Rush (Limbaugh). You can't interrupt me with your angry tirades. You can't retort!"
• "Is there a reason why we can't play more than two country songs before commercials?"
• "Crap! I just hit a Horned Lark! That's odd."
• "I think I should have a chocolate chip milkshake for lunch."
• "That was the best milkshake ever!"
• "WTF!? I just hit another horned lark!"
• "I'm bored."
• "I think a flat tire would be fun."
• "I should stop and take a picture of that roadkill. I think it is a coyote, but it could be a kit fox."
• "I'm hot, better turn on the air conditioning."
• "Why am I arguing with myself?"
• "I should finish watching Flight of the Conchords."
• "I'm cold, better turn off the air conditioning."
• "We could take a ride on my big green tractor. We can go slow, or we can go faster (it's a song)"
• "I'm boring."
• "That guy is too old to ride with on his big green tractor."
• "I wonder how many husbands Marilyn Monroe had."
• "Hot again. Better turn on the air conditioning. This is irritating."
• "Badger? Badger!"
• "I miss horseback riding."
• "I'm annoyed."
• "I wonder what these people in Delta think about my Coors Credit Union credit card. . ."
• "I should get cash."
• "Why is Delta High School holding band practice at the Coal Power Plant?"
• "Two elk road kill. That can't be good."
• "WTF!!!!!! Why is my exit closed! It's 10:30 p.m.!"
• "If I have to listen to this song one more time . . ."

That's just a fun sample. Luckily, Wednesday and Thursday I spent 20 hours with K.H. As you can imagine, she did not get to talk much. All work and no play makes Merut a dull girl.

(I am at the library, with only 25 minutes, so no time to proofread.) Don't go into withdrawl now.

He's not just Hot, he's Flamin'

I was looking for any new information on Gas Monkey's gasifier, and I found a news link on the Denver Zoo website. I click on it, and to my horror, this is what I found. . .


Poor poor Gas Monkey. Gas Monkey's moment of glory and they dressed him up like a circus act. I would say this is not a brilliant decision on his boss' part. Tsk tsk. Here is the rest of the story (click the red smart ones). And here is a different one.

I Want a Big, Long, Juicy . . .

Does anybody besides me even eat this stuff anymore?

On a quick side note: Dad, mom is planning on "playing with your mind on Monday." She says it spices up your marriage. "Got to keep the man guessing." Enjoy your Monday.

Merut's Bat of the Week: Big Brown Bat

Photo by Ryan Choi

Also known as Eptesicus fuscus, scientific name. This is the bat that is in the previous videos, so I thought I would start with it. As to the whole "bat of the week" thing, well, I'm just trying to find a way to preach the bat gospel as long as possible (hey, that sorta rhymes). Also, this is not going to be made for experts, just regular ol' joes. Keep in mind, most of this is based on personal experience, not rigorous scientific study.

Name: Eptesicus fuscus
Merut's diagnostic characteristics:

• a blunt, short, rounded tragus
• a "bulldog" face,
  
• generally larger in size
• unfriendly (to put it nicely)
  

Merut's reaction when she sees one in the net: cringe, "crap"

Photo by Ryan Choi

Merut's experience: They are what they are named - big, brown, bats. These are determined mean mother uckers. Because of their size, they can bite pretty hard. And they love to bite. They will squirm and twist until they grab whatever is nearest, mostly my fingers. When a lot of bats get into the net, they just relax. Big Brown Bats twist and turn, and fight, until they are a tangled mess, which means it takes longer to get them out, although not always. Which means my fingers are often at their mercy, of which they have NONE. This is obviously one of my least favorite bats, but like all bats, they are easily misunderstood.

Photo by Ryan Choi

Other notes:

• Big Brown Bats have a higher incidence of rabies than most other bats, and they are in the closest contact with people (note: less than 1/2 of 1% of bats are estimated to have rabies, so it is not that common).
  
• They live in urban settings as well as natural ones.
• They roost together in colonies.
  
• They seem to be generalists and therefore fairly common.
• They can live 18-20 years
• Big Brown Bats can fly up to 40 mph
• Wingspan is about 13-16 inches
• Weigh about 14-21 grams
  

If you are interested in reading more about Big Brown Bats, and other species of Rocky Mountain/Western bats, I like Bats of the Rocky Mountain West, by Rick A. Adams.

Getting Chubby

I know what you're thinking . . . nice bruise.

Db told me last week that they always tell the missionaries that are almost ready to go home, "Don't get chubby." In other words, don't just lay around pining away for home. Well, I'll admit it. I'm getting chubby, physically and mentally. Here is how my three day weekend has been:

Friday

• Slept until 1 p.m.
• Went to pancake house, made myself sick on coffee
• Went to Barnes and Noble, stood outside for 30 minutes in the rain, whilst admiring my legs in the windows of Men's Warehouse and talking on the phone
• Went into Barnes and Noble to read my book, instead walked out with $30 and 1800 pages of books - perfect
• Drove to house - cleaned out my car and my share of the refrigerator
• Lurked around the basement
• Settled on the couch and watched a 3 hour romantic drama
• Read 150 pages of A Confederacy of Dunces (I'm big on counting pages)
• Watched a special on the Hidden City of Petra, twice, while trying to sleep - success at 3 a.m.

Saturday

• Woke up at 12:30 p.m.
• Read The Shining
  
• Went to Brewvies, had a beer and nachos while watching the graphically obscene movie, "Bruno"
• Read The Shining
• Made a quick dash to grocery store for some Big Hunks and cheese
  
• Watched "Nashville", another 2 hour 40 minutes movie
• Read 100+ pages of The Shining until 2 a.m.
• Cuddled with the cat, Sushi, while watching "Ghost Adventures"

Sunday

• Woke up at 11:30 a.m. - getting better
• Listened to Gas Monkey brag about his breakfast burritos
• Went to Village Inn - gorged on coffee
• Saw guy on a motorcycle with long hair and strange "Horns" like some African antelope - weird
  
• Went to Red Butte Gardens - felt "productive"
• Went to Whole Foods for lunch, but not enough free samples
• Went to Starbucks, tried something new, did not like at all
• Walked to car, noticed all my limbs are swinging like jello, not eager to go back to my dungeon and artificial lighting

Don't get chubby Merut. Stop pining. Anybody want to trade places?

Gas Monkey . . . I miss you

Except for the gas part of course. I think I could happily live without that.

How We Process the Bats

In the last video I was removing a bat. This is what we then do to the bats. Nothing cruel or unusual. Be sure to sense K.H.'s excitement. Also, though the sound is crappy (turning my sharp sssss into a lisp), if you listen really carefully you can hear the bat. It is making a high clicking noise.

Some explanations as to what I was looking for (I'll try to avoid too much jargon):

1. Species - for this species it is obvious, Big Brown Bat again, but if it is a small Myotis species we use a dichotomous key to determine which particular Myotis it is.
2. Ear length (mm) - the longest length of the ear
3. Forearm length (mm) - the length from the elbow to the wrist
4. Sex - Male or female, generally visible and easy to decipher
5. Reproductive Status - For males, their testes will be large and sorta bald if they are reproductive; if not, you don't see any. With the females it is harder to tell if they are pregnant (my previous boss would feel the belly for a skull, I never mastered that art). However we can tell if the females are lactating because their nipples are large and often extremely gnawed on (after all, you've seen those teeth, poor things)
6. Age - Usually adult or subadult. We can tell this by looking at the wings with a light shining through. If it is an adult, the finger joints are knobby. If it is a subadult, then the joints are not knobby, and semi-transparent.
7. Wing Score - Looking for any kind of damage to the wings, whether it be physical holes, or some sort of disease (such as White Nose, which is not in Utah . . . yet)

Then we weigh the bat in the bag, release the bat, and then weigh the bag. For this study the poop in the bag is negligible.

Field Work is all Fun and Games . . . until you're Wet or Dirty

Or lost or bug bitten or injured or hot or tired or annoyed by your coworkers or homesick. Now is that not a grim sounding expedition or what? It's not that bad, mostly these things add to the enjoyment.



We are officially done with the bat work for the summer (crap, normal sleeping schedule here I come?). K.H. decided to get some real work out of us. She put Db and I on a special one night mission - to do a Black Swift survey. In case you know nothing about Black Swifts, here is a link:

Black Swift Surveys

In Utah, Black Swifts are a Tier II Sensitive Species, which basically means a "species of concern". There is only one known colony in Utah, so I was excited to see this "unusual, mysterious, and sought after" bird. Plus, the method did not sound too bad at all. K.H. told us to hike two miles, in the mountains (for once), just before dusk, and sit at the base of the waterfall looking for birds until dark. Then all we had to do is hike the two miles back and go home. Sweet. I have done virtually no hiking this summer, since all of my work has had road access.

However, this romantic scenario was not to be. We hiked the two miles . . . in the rain! Then we sat at the base of the waterfall, shifting from gambel oak to gambel oak looking for some shelter, unsuccessfully. As an aside, I did manage to look at the acorns in curiosity as to whether they are ripe enough for black bears, affirmative. After two hours, the rain stopped and it began to get dark. No birds at 8:00 p.m. Still nobody at 8:30 p.m. At 8:45 p.m. the bats show up. Not a good sign. So no black swifts at the one colony site they "occupy." K.H. does not yet know the news. So either I am really incompetent, definitely possible, or something else is wrong. I'm not sure. Maybe they migrated for the season. Anyways, this is the stuff character is built of.

Bat Anatomy

For those of you who are not familiar with "bat bits", here are a couple of pictures I created to help you understand some of the bat terminology. As bats are mammals, they have all the same parts we do: fingers, wrists, feet, etc. The morphology is the only difference. Hopefully these pictures will help you understand what I'm talking about when I speak about the differences between species.

How I Mistnet Bats

So, after a couple of failed attempts, Db and I managed to successfully videotape myself mistnetting a bat. Please keep in mind, we were using my little Cannon Powershot, which is not meant for this kind of thing. The sound issues are a result of my camera, with interference from the stream I am standing in. Also, it is dark, 10-11 p.m., so understandably we have issues with the lighting. I think you'll get the gist. Anyways, since I know most of you have never seen a bat being mistnetted, I'd thought I'd give you a little show. If you have ever mistnetted a bird, I hear it is a similar process.




I think the bat t-shirt is a nice, unintended touch. Also, why did I take out two bags?

Some things I need to clear up, because I was speaking from my head.

1. When I said he was "biting me", he was biting my gloves. Generally they cannot penetrate the gloves. However, Big Brown Bats (Eptesicus fuscus) have large, strong mouths, so I can still feel the bite (like a very hard pinch), which does not feel good, and always catches me off guard.
2. I did not mean to stereotype rodents, but it was an allegory I think people would understand. What I meant was that Big Brown Bats are a fairly common species. They are found anywhere from towns to the woods.

If you have any questions about mistnetting bats, or any refutes to my comments, feel free to post them. Also, I intend to offer some background information on Big Brown Bats, as well as my experiences with them at a future date.

Urban Black Bear Ecology

Here is a website I rediscovered about the black bear work I did in Aspen last summer, 2008. Enjoy.

http://www.afbl.us/current.html

A Rather Dull Week

I've been slow to write about this past week, as nothing happened, really. This is the most exciting moment: Db caught on camera a brief lapse in my sanity where I burst into song and dance to "If I were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof. All the more true as I am wearing waders and haven't showered in a couple of days. It's about as entertaining as it got.



It is a painful sight.

Last Monday and Tuesday, we were skunked. This was extremely disappointing, as were hoping to make a couple of videos mistnetting and processing a bat, in the style of David Attenborough. This next week may very well be the last one for mistnetting, so I am holding out hope for at least one more bat, to be humiliated on video for the sake of entertainment. We did catch 50+ bats last Wednesday, but there were 8 people present, and we did not want to embarrass ourselves that way. I guess we shall see if we had success after the end of this week. I'm sure you'll all be eagerly anticipating.

Here's a video of "If I were a Rich Man". I strive for a proper double chin.

30 things about me you probably didn't (and didn't care to) know about me

I'm not quite sure who reads this anymore, which is fine. Even if you're somebody who feels like you don't know me well enough. I'd like to get to know you, sincerely. But since I know only four people intimately, here are 30 things you probably don't know about me. Which may help you understand my blog and myself more.

1. Gas Monkey and I have been together for almost 4 years (in October), and “living in sin” (meaning living together) for 2 years. Yup, he gives the milk for free (don’t be too shocked G-ma, we've been together longer than you and G-pa were when you got married). We met at Lowes, sad I know, and at first it was a physical attraction, which turned into an intellectual one. I was 19 and he was 25. We almost never argue, but stand on the balcony debating things that usually don’t affect us directly, like politics, religion, and the world around. I am happy with him, always. He is the most patient man in the world.

2. I like to tell stories. I communicate better through writing than speaking until I know you better. Or I’ve had a few drinks. Whisky or beer preferred.

3. I talk to my mom almost every day, usually for 30 minutes at least. And I like it. (Sorry dad, you are not as available).



4. I tend to break out into my, no doubt offensive, British accent. Or doing my equally offensive Sarah Palin impression. And I am famous amongst my acquaintances for my dinosaur roar.

5. I still wear two different colored socks, whenever I am not wearing white socks. I especially like it when the socks have an obnoxious pattern.

6. I admire my dad for his well-rounded interests, his ability to see everybody and every situation as it really is, without misconstruing it to his own interests. And he's always there when he's needed.

7. When all the little girls wanted to play house, I was always the pet Tyrannosaurus Rex or Tiger. So in other words, we were playing two different games.


8. I know I have (and always will have) a big booty, and so I swing it when I walk. After all, it makes the first or last impression, so might as well make it a lasting one.


9. I am an agnostic atheist, who still believes in ghosts, energy, and karma (but not quite Buddhist). A walking contradiction maybe, but it is always evolving.

10. When I was in kindergarten, I used to draw anatomically correct male horses. To the point where my teacher had to talk to my mother about one of my most "excited" (to put it politely) stallions.

Taken by Leland Burr

11. I am competitive when it comes to cards. Deadly when it comes to fast-paced card games like speed, spit, and Egyptian rat screw. And I always tell people this before we play. Thus nobody has played with me in years.

12. I played softball for 9 years, 2 competitively. I was a loud-mouthed left-handed catcher, with a red duct-taped target on her chest, which earned me brownie points with the umpires. I had a scary side-arm that was hard and unpredictable. I’ve knocked a few girls to the ground. They never stole a base on me again (not my intentions of course).
13. I strive to have a relationship like my parents’, with all its disfunctionality (which according to spell check is not a word). It is proof you don’t have to have a fairy tale relationship or common interests to have respect and love. In fact, I don’t know two people who find each other’s annoying flaws so endearing.


14. I want to be buried in my pajamas with a viewing (everybody should see a dead body). My mom says I can't have a viewing in my pajamas. But I think it would be a travesty to go to my grave wearing an uncomfortable bra when it is my eternal sleep. Unless it is a sports bra (after all my girls do need some support). Please talk sense to the woman.

15. I am paranoid about death. Probably to the point where I need counseling. No matter what I am doing, I’m thinking of worst case scenarios. I don't sleep on my back for fear I'll be gutted. A year ago I wore a bicycle helmet in the car at night when Gas Monkey was driving. I don’t anymore, but that does not mean I don’t want to.


16. I have only one definite dimple. Mom always says that “God did a half-assed job.”

Taken by Leland Burr

17. My environmental sin (and we all have one) is taking hour-long showers when nobody is home, and blaring my music. Yes, that means I spend about 20 minutes in cold water. I'm very paranoid about Gas Monkey's Aunt B walking in to the house while I'm blaring away(after all, I'm singing and dancing the whole time). Therefore I always keep my phone next to the shower and check it every 10 minutes. Nobody needs to see/hear that.

18. I come off as cold and caustic. I’ve been told to smile by strangers. And when I do talk to acquaintances that I need to connect with, I come off as insincere because I stutter and sound guarded. But really I am not. For some reason, I always have to be talked to first. Photo taken by Ryan Choi

19. I sing in the car loudly, obnoxiously so, to showtunes and Disney music. But not all the time. You know it's bad when the people in the car in front of you turn around with eager grins to see you singing "The Sound of Music." This means the driver thought I was obnoxious enough to tell his passengers to take a look at the show. This was made even more annoying because I could not evade the situation for a whole 20 minutes. I was in stop-n-go traffic on the highway. Lesson learned.

20. I always push for the future, and reminisce about the past, but never live in the present. I need to work on this.

21. I wish I could take pictures like my G-pa. Maybe someday, but mostly I have no idea what I am doing.

Taken by Leland Burr

22. My mom stubbornly trained me to smile for photos when I was a kid. Mom says it is a life skill. She also says peeing on command is a life skill, so I’m not sure about the logic.

23. I try to get the following reactions: when I make my mom say “Jesus” in a shocked/appalled and yet humoured way (afterwards she always asks strangers, “You’re not religious are you?”), and when Gas Monkey opens his eyes wide and half smiles while he listens, and then bursts into a laugh that throws his whole body backwards. (The pic below is what happens when my mom cuts your hair)


24. I am 75% confident I don’t want a wedding. For many reasons. So if you were waiting for one, time to start getting your mind wrapped around the idea. Unless you’re willing to donate to the cause. I’d rather spend the money going to Europe for a few weeks, sans relatives.

25. The International Baccalaureate Program was harder than college, and yet I enjoyed it for the challenge. Theory of Knowledge was my favorite class. It was an eye-opening experience. But I refuse to let that be the grand achievement in my life, because that would be sad.

26. I take pride in my flaws. After all, they are unique to me. So go ahead and tease me about the helmet and the show tunes. I’ll just dish it right back. Because you all know you're equally weird.


27. I want to write a children’s novel before I die. But I’m afraid to write it, because then I might just die.

28. I can't imagine having two more important babies. Corin (named after a mischievous prince) and Carson (named after Rachel Carson and Carson McCullers). In the photo Corin is the one grabbing Carson in the naughty place, while he winks as she seems to enjoy it.


29. Mesa Verde changed my life. And for that I am forever indebted to Professor C and Apple.
Photo taken by Ryan Choi

30. I like harassing my mother because I always get a reaction. I'm hoping to get her to say "Jesus!" 30 times (like right now).

If you've made it this far, I know what you are thinking. Gas Monkey must be the most patient man in the world.

The Beatles and a Mormon Diner

Today I was taking my Sunday brunch in a local Mormon diner (I know they were Mormons, because I was the only one drinking coffee), so old school it does not even take credit cards (resulting in me making a dash across the street to an atm). To my utmost surprise and entertainment, the song "Maxwell's Silver Hammer," by The Beatles, began playing overhead. I never realized Mormons enjoyed an upbeat song about a serial killer with their weekend lunch. I know I did. I used to like listening to it on my way to softball tournaments, to pump me up. In case you've never heard it:



Also, you know you cannot sing to Julie Andrews when your own ear drums scream in pain. Then trying to sing Liza Minnelli only makes them bleed. One should lower their aspirations. I know this from recent experience. I recommend "I have a lovely bunch of coconuts" by Monty Python.

New Blog

Since I spend most of my free-time on the weekends watching movies, and most of my time during the work-week reading, I've created a new blog where I can keep track of the movies and books I read. Maybe t.v. shows too. Anyways, if you're ever looking for recommendations, you can always check it out. I generally do not read popular fiction, although sometimes. I mostly read modern classics, and the real classics, and some historical non-fiction. I watch classic movies, romantic comedies, cheap comedies, foreign films, you get the jist. Popular and once popular.

Merut's Book and Movie Nook

D.I.D. = Db in Distress

I am easily entertained. I am only laughing because 20 minutes prior I had been in the same position. And Db did not listen to me.

Clear Creek Cabin

We had a really slow boring week. So I experimented with making videos. Now I know that I breath way too hard, which is probably due to the fact that I'm either sitting on a couch, in a truck, or on a camping chair. Oh the physical demands of field work. And I've developed a lisp? I also realized I have a problem looking into the camera. Anyhoo, this is where we stayed two nights this week. Enjoy?

This is a very unattractive freeze frame of me. Awesome.

Email Subscription

I've a had a couple, yes only a couple, requests to email and/or text people when I put up new posts. I'll admit it, I am entirely too lazy. Plus I know all you folks out there who read my blog in the closet would not receive these updates. So, if you're always on your tippy-toes waiting for updates, you can subscribe to my blog using the box to your right. All you have to do is type in your email address, check you email, and click on the link, then you are good to go. And you can unsubscribe at any time. I hope that works for all two of you. And no, I cannot see who has subscribed, in case you are worried about that. Besides, I'd just be flattered.

I stayed up until 4 a.m. last night, and now it is time to get ready for work. I am tired. I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to go home to a "normal" life (which, I don't have anyways, because you have to be normal).

Late night comedy and Jim Gaffigan

It is midnight and I can relate to his jokes about camping, futons, and recycling. So watch the whole show, Jim Gaffigan: King Baby. I don't normally like watching stand-up comedy on my computer alone, and definitely out of context, but it goes with my summer theme. And Bear Lady (I know you probably get that name all the time, but I'm hard up being creative, boss from Aspen) don't get exasperated by the bear jokes.

Warning Old People: It's a different kind of business

This may be a little inappropriate, but that's ok, because I'm only 23 and therefore allowed to be a little inappropriate. Plus it is late at night, I'm bored, this is my blog, and I like this video. Watch Flight of the Conchords on HBO!

I dedicate this video to Mrs. Bottoms (Spanky Bottoms' mother, see character list). She is one of the most conservative people I know, but has been with me through all the dirtiest shows in my life. She accompanied Spanky and I to"Thunder from Down Under" in Las Vegas (a well-choreographed gem of sweaty hairy men removing their pants to the sound of thunder), and a play, Lydia, that had full frontal nudity, homosexuality, incest, and overall horrifyingly in your face. Coincidence? I think not. She acts shocked, but I think deep down she's in denial.