1. Gas Monkey and I have been together for almost 4 years (in October), and “living in sin” (meaning living together) for 2 years. Yup, he gives the milk for free (don’t be too shocked G-ma, we've been together longer than you and G-pa were when you got married). We met at Lowes, sad I know, and at first it was a physical attraction, which turned into an intellectual one. I was 19 and he was 25. We almost never argue, but stand on the balcony debating things that usually don’t affect us directly, like politics, religion, and the world around. I am happy with him, always. He is the most patient man in the world.
2. I like to tell stories. I communicate better through writing than speaking until I know you better. Or I’ve had a few drinks. Whisky or beer preferred.
3. I talk to my mom almost every day, usually for 30 minutes at least. And I like it. (Sorry dad, you are not as available).
4. I tend to break out into my, no doubt offensive, British accent. Or doing my equally offensive Sarah Palin impression. And I am famous amongst my acquaintances for my dinosaur roar.
5. I still wear two different colored socks, whenever I am not wearing white socks. I especially like it when the socks have an obnoxious pattern.
6. I admire my dad for his well-rounded interests, his ability to see everybody and every situation as it really is, without misconstruing it to his own interests. And he's always there when he's needed.
7. When all the little girls wanted to play house, I was always the pet Tyrannosaurus Rex or Tiger. So in other words, we were playing two different games.
8. I know I have (and always will have) a big booty, and so I swing it when I walk. After all, it makes the first or last impression, so might as well make it a lasting one.
9. I am an agnostic atheist, who still believes in ghosts, energy, and karma (but not quite Buddhist). A walking contradiction maybe, but it is always evolving.
10. When I was in kindergarten, I used to draw anatomically correct male horses. To the point where my teacher had to talk to my mother about one of my most "excited" (to put it politely) stallions.
Taken by Leland Burr11. I am competitive when it comes to cards. Deadly when it comes to fast-paced card games like speed, spit, and Egyptian rat screw. And I always tell people this before we play. Thus nobody has played with me in years.
12. I played softball for 9 years, 2 competitively. I was a loud-mouthed left-handed catcher, with a red duct-taped target on her chest, which earned me brownie points with the umpires. I had a scary side-arm that was hard and unpredictable. I’ve knocked a few girls to the ground. They never stole a base on me again (not my intentions of course).
13. I strive to have a relationship like my parents’, with all its disfunctionality (which according to spell check is not a word). It is proof you don’t have to have a fairy tale relationship or common interests to have respect and love. In fact, I don’t know two people who find each other’s annoying flaws so endearing.
14. I want to be buried in my pajamas with a viewing (everybody should see a dead body). My mom says I can't have a viewing in my pajamas. But I think it would be a travesty to go to my grave wearing an uncomfortable bra when it is my eternal sleep. Unless it is a sports bra (after all my girls do need some support). Please talk sense to the woman.
15. I am paranoid about death. Probably to the point where I need counseling. No matter what I am doing, I’m thinking of worst case scenarios. I don't sleep on my back for fear I'll be gutted. A year ago I wore a bicycle helmet in the car at night when Gas Monkey was driving. I don’t anymore, but that does not mean I don’t want to.
16. I have only one definite dimple. Mom always says that “God did a half-assed job.”
Taken by Leland Burr17. My environmental sin (and we all have one) is taking hour-long showers when nobody is home, and blaring my music. Yes, that means I spend about 20 minutes in cold water. I'm very paranoid about Gas Monkey's Aunt B walking in to the house while I'm blaring away(after all, I'm singing and dancing the whole time). Therefore I always keep my phone next to the shower and check it every 10 minutes. Nobody needs to see/hear that.
18. I come off as cold and caustic. I’ve been told to smile by strangers. And when I do talk to acquaintances that I need to connect with, I come off as insincere because I stutter and sound guarded. But really I am not. For some reason, I always have to be talked to first.
Photo taken by Ryan Choi19. I sing in the car loudly, obnoxiously so, to showtunes and Disney music. But not all the time. You know it's bad when the people in the car in front of you turn around with eager grins to see you singing "The Sound of Music." This means the driver thought I was obnoxious enough to tell his passengers to take a look at the show. This was made even more annoying because I could not evade the situation for a whole 20 minutes. I was in stop-n-go traffic on the highway. Lesson learned.
20. I always push for the future, and reminisce about the past, but never live in the present. I need to work on this.
21. I wish I could take pictures like my G-pa. Maybe someday, but mostly I have no idea what I am doing.
Taken by Leland Burr22. My mom stubbornly trained me to smile for photos when I was a kid. Mom says it is a life skill. She also says peeing on command is a life skill, so I’m not sure about the logic.
23. I try to get the following reactions: when I make my mom say “Jesus” in a shocked/appalled and yet humoured way (afterwards she always asks strangers, “You’re not religious are you?”), and when Gas Monkey opens his eyes wide and half smiles while he listens, and then bursts into a laugh that throws his whole body backwards. (The pic below is what happens when my mom cuts your hair)
24. I am 75% confident I don’t want a wedding. For many reasons. So if you were waiting for one, time to start getting your mind wrapped around the idea. Unless you’re willing to donate to the cause. I’d rather spend the money going to Europe for a few weeks, sans relatives.
25. The International Baccalaureate Program was harder than college, and yet I enjoyed it for the challenge. Theory of Knowledge was my favorite class. It was an eye-opening experience. But I refuse to let that be the grand achievement in my life, because that would be sad.
26. I take pride in my flaws. After all, they are unique to me. So go ahead and tease me about the helmet and the show tunes. I’ll just dish it right back. Because you all know you're equally weird.
27. I want to write a children’s novel before I die. But I’m afraid to write it, because then I might just die.
28. I can't imagine having two more important babies. Corin (named after a mischievous prince) and Carson (named after Rachel Carson and Carson McCullers). In the photo Corin is the one grabbing Carson in the naughty place, while he winks as she seems to enjoy it.
29. Mesa Verde changed my life. And for that I am forever indebted to Professor C and Apple.
Photo taken by Ryan Choi30. I like harassing my mother because I always get a reaction. I'm hoping to get her to say "Jesus!" 30 times (like right now).
If you've made it this far, I know what you are thinking. Gas Monkey must be the most patient man in the world.
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